I got chris browned last night
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Randomize
