O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
