in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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