the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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