Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
