Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
