I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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