We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
