Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
