so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
