she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
