I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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