you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
