I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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