This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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