Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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