Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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