Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
