I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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