you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
