Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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