areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
