Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
