never play flip cup with pint glasses
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
