Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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