two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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