Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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