Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
