She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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