they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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