I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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