just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
