I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
