I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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