Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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