5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
