Your tits are I can't wait for
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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