You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize