Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
