At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
