i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize