i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize