you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize