I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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