I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
