we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
