We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
