Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
