HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
