Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
