I wish I could teleport
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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