I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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