you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
