it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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