We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
