im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
