boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
His hands were made for my vagina.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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