Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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