Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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