he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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