Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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