We're like a lot better than the average bears
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
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you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
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Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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