I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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