We won't sleep together?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
