Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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