Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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