You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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