HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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