Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
