This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize