i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
